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So in case you didn't know, I have an Etsy Shop. I was doing really well on it once, getting a couple of sales a week, but then I decided to give it a break. The problem was that I was crocheting items to sell. So I would spend about an hour on each piece, and then sell it for around $4 or $5. Which, by the way, is BELOW MINIMUM WAGE. Gah. Plus all that crocheting ended up just killing my wrists. It was so repetitive and so much work, that it just wasn't worth the trouble. I really liked selling on Etsy, though. I tried selling my art, but no one was really interested. Of course, I kind of knew that was going to happen. The economy was starting to get bad when I first started at Etsy, and I knew people would be more likely to buy stuff they needed rather than stuff they didn't, like art. But I decided that I'd try something new in my shop. And maybe this time I can stick with it. I'm gonna try making earrings and aprons. The earrings are quick and simple, and the aprons require very little material, so it should be fun! I don't know what else to make, though. I guess we'll see. Anyway, I'm excited about it. Then again, I seem to get a new grand plan every single week. I wonder if I'm driving Chad crazy yet x3 So if you're looking for some cheap face scrubbies or possibly a hot pink and black mesh bag, check out my shop. I'm getting rid of the old stuff so there will be room for the new!
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Would you believe that life is worth living? There are always times where I wonder if it is; being a chubby kid who got her GED instead of finishing high school, with lofty hopes of being a modestly famous artist just sets you up for hardship. And then falling in love really early and marrying moderately young tends to complicate things a little. I have to wonder if I enjoy the challenge, or maybe even complaining. But though I gripe, my life is so exciting. I get to see the world from an angle that few do. I get the chance to follow my dreams all I want because my husband supports me fully. To be perfectly honest, the only person stopping me from reaching my potential is also my biggest critic. Man, that woman is so hard on me. She tells me that I'm old, fat, and a bad artist, not to mention a terrible house keeper. I should totally blow her off. I bet everyone would conclude I was nuts if I blew myself off, though. Needless to say, I'm feeling better than I was the other day. It helps that I got some cleaning done today (as in, I finally got the mess under control; I don't feel right unless the house is mostly organized). And yesterday I got some art done, too! I really want to go off and work on it some more, and the only thing stopping me is my laziness. I have a little vacuuming left to do in my studio and then it'll be all clean. My studio. Isn't that funny? When I was younger, I was pretty much happy drawing on a clipboard with a #2 on my lap. Now I have luxuries such as a drafting table, wonderful art materials (not to mention expensive), fancy fancy scanner and outstanding printer. What I like most about these things is that I worked hard and earned the money for them myself. The house in which my studio is situated, however, is all thanks to Chad and his loving grandparents. But that's what I love about him! He's so supportive and wants to see my dreams come true as much (or possibly more) than I do. Anyway, I'll be sure to post the art when I'm finished with it. The Dragon is feeling:  lovely
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They say that wives lose themselves in their husbands
in the work that comes from being married, owning a house, caring for children
They have beautiful dreams when they're young
that are simply left behind once they join hands with their beloved
I could never decide if I thought these women were weak
or if their husbands were total jerks, disregarding their love's hopes
But one thing I did know was that it would never happen to me.
I was strong, independent, and determined to follow the path less taken
But here I am, 24-3/4 years old, sitting at home sorting through junk
or what I thought was junk.
I looked through the heaps of papers and scraps I had hoarded over the years
and see the dreams of yesterday staring back at me
My fires were burning so strongly then, spurred on by the wind of inspiration
love for my art, nature, dreamy afternoons, and everlasting love dripping from every page
I was a poet and artist, lover, pagan and mystic full of hope for tomorrow
And now...
Now I'm a housewife who sits around depressed because my husband is gone
working all day 50 miles away.
My art sits untouched in the dusty room that you can't even walk through.
And I cry because I don't know...
What ever happened to tomorrow?
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Life has been pretty crazy and upside down since Thursday of last week. That morning, Chad applied to a programming position in Erie (an hour's drive from our house), and within an hour or two they called back, wanting an interview the next day. So Thursday we zipped off to Erie to find out where the place was, and while we were there I picked up some watercolor paper at Micheal's. I experimented with it a little later that day :D And I like it. Anyway, so Friday I decided to go with Chad and hang out at Borders while he was at his interview. We got there at 9 (when Borders opens), and his interview was at 10, so he drank some coffee and looked over some programming books while I flipped through some kids' magazines to see if they would be proper places to send my art for publication. The interview took 2 and a half hours, and so I was getting kind of nervous. But it turns out that the company has been looking for someone with all the skills Chad has, but out of a large list, hasn't found anyone. So he said they all but wrote up the contract for him. Basically he's hired! Which is great, except the job's in Erie, and we own (and just paid off) a home in Jamestown. Chad's parents live near us here, and we have lots of friends here. I'm so nervous about moving... We'd like to buy another house, but that takes time (it was several months between making the bid and being able to move into this house, for instance), so either he'll have to commute an hour both ways every day, or we'll have to somehow find an apartment that allows cats and will go an a month by month basis. I'm mildly freaked out, but it's not showing through to the surface. Anyway, I thought I'd say something before someone thought I was dead again. The Dragon is feeling:  nervous
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It was actually warm today! Can you believe that? I mean, it's been warm off and on lately, but I think it's actually going to stick this time. No more biting cold or killing wind. Oh, I just can't tell you how tired I am with the winter. Now, I like the snow and ice and winter, but I'm just tired of it! It's been a hard winter, and I want to see the sun, feel the warm air on my cheek, see the flowers pushing through the earth. I think it's coming. Cat and I are really anxious to get back to real life. He's been out of work since the beginning of November. I love spending time with him and everything, but c'mon.... 24/7 with a computer geek? That's enough to drive even the most stable person a little batty. I'm a real hermit anyway. I need so much time to myself each day to be able to function properly, and it's hard for me to get that these days. So to kind of give us something to look forward to, Cat decided that once he has his new job, we're getting a new car. I'm kind of excited and saddened at the same time. Our WV Beetle is something I think of first when I think of our courtship. We used to spend so much time in that car, driving from PA to NY, all across the country side. It took us to our wedding (imagine trying to fit what you need to set up your wedding into a Bug), and it's what we drove off into the sunset in to our honeymoon deep in the wilderness of PA. But it's getting old now. 2001 with close to, if not more than, 110,000 miles. That said, I think I'm ready to move up in the world. Well, maybe not up so much as sideways. We need a more useful car. The Bug is really cute and has lots of leg room (surprised?) in the front, but almost no trunk space. You can lay the seats down, but still, you don't have much room back there. We own a house now, and Chad really likes wood work, so we need something to be able to haul crap in. Enter the Fit: http://automobiles.honda.com/2009-fit/That website is hilarious, by the way. I think these people had way too much fun creating the Fit and the advertising stuff for it. Anyway, it's a neat little car. I like how you can fold all the seats down. Well, aside from the driver's seat. That wouldn't be safe. You can also fold the back seats up (instead of down), which is ultra cool and pretty convenient sounding. Plus, it actually has back seats you can fit people into. You could really only fit crap into the back seat of the bug. Its just tiny in the back. And having a new car to look forward to gives Chad something to work towards and something to look forward to. He's pretty excited about it. I get to pick the color, which I'm excited about. I'd be more excited if the pallet wasn't so dull, though. The European version has some really cool colors, like this soft pink, a bright yellow and a really neat like tropical water blue. But since I can't have any of those, I'm thinking I'll pick red. It's nice and bright and cheery, which I want this car to be. OOH. And I should name the car, too. The Bug's unofficial name is Jim. I think the fit will be a girl, with those sexy slanty eyes it has. .....Stop looking at me as if I'm crazy. Anyway, that's all for now. The Dragon is feeling: giddy
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I'm not even going to try to excuse my absence, so let's just get on with the good stuff! Life's been pretty interesting lately. And by interesting, I really mean boring. Cat's not working right now, and neither am I. It's a little scary, but I'm trying the best I can to be positive. Plus, it's such fun to be home with Cat! He's great company, though I think we're on the verge of ringing each others' necks. I've been thinking seriously about calling up the hardware store I was working in and seeing if they'll hire me back, but I'm not sure if they would or not. Oh, I know that they would much rather hire someone who's worked there before (4 out of 5 people hired while I was working there either worked there before or knew someone who worked there before), but times are tough, and the owner is stingy. I was doing really fantastically with my Etsy shop last fall. I was getting about 2 orders a week, sometimes more. But, per usual, I stopped working on it and it kind of faded away. I don't know what it is, but through the winter, all I want to do is hibernate, sit on the couch and play video games while eating a bag of grease. But the moment the spring sun starts shining, it's almost like somewhere inside of me goes, "DING! What was I doing last year? I should do that again!!!" It's funny, sad and frustrating all at the same time. Another exciting thing that's happened the last few days is that I finally got in contact with an old friend from high school, that had been missing for about ten years!! Well, she wasn't missing, per se, but I couldn't find her and that's pretty close. She's doing well, living a simple life in a simple town. I find it really interesting to see how and what people are doing now. When I was younger, I always thought these people would grow up to be rock stars or brain surgeons, or at least suicide bombers... something exciting! But most everyone is just an ordinary person, living a normal life in quaint little towns. Maybe they're rockstars in their own little world, though. I know I am. But that's all for now. The Dragon is feeling:  chipper
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I like speaking English, and think it's kind of silly for people in this country that speak English to have to accommodate for those coming into our country speaking something else. I mean, if the people coming here wanted to live here so badly, they should learn to speak the native tongue. Likewise, if I were to move to another country that spoke something different, I wouldn't expect the natives there to learn English. That said, I know there are people out there who would happily call me racist for my opinions. And yet, these people show that they are the true racists by "helping" those people speaking another language. Let me explain a little. I listen to the radio a lot because we don't have television. I mean, I would love to have tv, but Cat grew up without it and our finances are so that everything we bring in is designated to something else already (including personal spending; I would rather have my art supplies than tv). Anyway, you'll regularly hear ads on the radio telling you not to do drugs. For the longest time, they were normal ads, nothing special about them. Trying to tear at your heart so you know how stupid you are for doing drugs. And then that suddenly changed. Suddenly, all the drug ads were in Spanish. And you could tell they were drug ads because they stop speaking Spanish long enough to say things like "crystal meth", and then go back to Spanish. For one thing, the drug ads? They're the only thing on the radio that are spoken in Spanish. How stupid is that? And for another thing, these ads in Spanish are pretty much implying that Spanish speaking people are doing drugs and need help. I think the fact that the ads were all in English and now are all in Spanish also implies that they think Spanish speaking people do more drugs than English speaking people. Who's racist, again? Certainly not me. All I was doing was expressing an opinion. If the people making those ads were really concerned about a drug problem, you think they would do something more productive and smarter than airing a Spanish ad on an all English channel. The Dragon is feeling:  annoyed
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Have you ever been truly vulnerable before someone? Have you found yourself in the weakest, most defenseless, most humiliating situation in front of the eyes of someone you care about? It's pretty humbling stuff, especially when you're as proud and as strong-headed as I am, and it really knocks you down a level and reminds you that you don't have to be perfect to still be loved. We went camping this weekend, Cat and I. And although I knew the forecast called for rain, I wasn't worried. The tent's waterproof, right? (That actually turned out to be wrong, but never mind that.) After having a traditional dinner of (veggie)hot dogs and marshmallows, we decided we'd sit in the car for a little bit because it was starting to thunder off in the distance. So after about maybe half an hour, and the storm started to weaken, we went off to our little tent to read our books and enjoy our fluffy sleeping bags. But the storm didn't die down; it got much worse. After a while, I just couldn't stand it any more. Since childhood, thunderstorms have really frightened me, and here we were, in a tiny little tent in a bit of an open space, in the middle of a terrible storm. The rain was pelting the tent sides, and spraying inside a little, and the lightning was going off every few seconds, and I found myself quivering against Cat's chest, with his long arms wrapped strongly around me. They say that the tears of a girl on your chest gives you hair there, and since his is already pretty hairy, I decided he'd be a big foot by the time the storm had passed. And he sang to me and held me and let me bury my face against him. And the storm passed, and he let me go, and he went back to reading like nothing had happened. But I felt very moved and very loved and secure in knowing that he would always be there for me, the way I've always known that I'd be there for him if he needed my shoulder. The Dragon is feeling:  loved
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littlesapphire's journal
Backtrack
busy
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